River of Grace

I went down to the river to pray and fellowship with Jesus today hoping for refreshment - hoping for clarity of mind and a return to peace and joy with Him. It is typical from me to do this when I feel discouraged and lonely. When the Lord is teaching me something that is difficult for me to grasp. When He wants me to surrender and place all of my trust in Him.  Each time, He never fails to deliver and I am left realizing that I need to meet Him more often.  Meet Him in His Creation where He is always right there waiting for me.  He is always there.  I just have to be willing to go. Yes, I have quite times with Him daily, but there is something special about going to meet Him in His Creation. It is where I am away from it all; away from the phone, away from the noise, away from the distractions of this world. It is only me and His music – the sound of the river crashing gently over the rocks; even the buzzing of the mosquito in my ear. Through His Creation He speaks to me. He speaks to me when I choose to listen.

As I ate my sandwich, watching the river flow, I found myself studying the leaves – leaves of varying color. October in Gatlinburg is a beautiful sight. One leaf in particular caught my eye. A rust orange one with purple speckles – a maple leaf, I believe.  It had found itself corned between some rocks off to the side of the current.  Resting; protected from the rushing water.  I studied the surroundings of the leaf; thinking of a friend who might like to have it.  I noticed several profound things - a tree growing out of the side of the bank; its roots exposed and clinging to the rocks and soil around it. How can a living thing grow out of a rock saturated ground? Then, the soil had eroded out from under a large rock to create a small cavern-like nook which housed a multitude of various smooth stones.

In the midst of the smooth stones, I spotted a foreigner – a small piece of glass that had been worn smooth by the flowing river and passage of time.  Who knows how long it took for the water to sculpt that piece of glass.  I looked at the piece of glass and the Lord said to me, “That’s you.  Once a broken shard of glass, sharp and unrefined – dangerous to the touch – who was plunged into my flowing river of grace to soften all your sharp edges.”  That wearing away and journey to becoming smooth is a long one. Sometimes painful. Sometimes scary.  I think it must take a lifetime.  But, He said, “Do not fear because you will be made smooth. Smooth by my grace. That's a promise.” A single tear flowed down my cheek.  So very small a stream compared to His river.  That tear came from a place of gratitude, reassurance, and hope for I know that His River flows  over me daily and it will never run dry.  Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow.

Shard of Glass found in the Little Pigeon River, Gatlinburg, TN

School of Life: Lesson 1 - Paddle at Your Own Pace

Included in my thoughts and research supporting studio practice during graduate school are my thoughts and lessons in the School of Life.  I will attempt to keep up with this for the Lord has taught and continues to teach me many lessons this year.  By documenting them, I hope to share the good news, encourage others, and most importantly remind myself of the lessons that I have already learned - I often forget them.

 

December 11, 2014 - I joined some friends from UF Ceramics to take a trip to Cedar Key, FL to partake in some kayaking adventures.  This was to be my second kayaking voyage.  My first, was in Curaumilla, Chile where I kayaked the COLD Pacific Ocean.  I should have learned this lesson then.  I happened to "lose" my breakfast in the great Pacific if you know what I mean.  Not fun.  Well maybe that was a different lesson - one from childhood - don't go in the water for 30 minutes after you eat!!!  At any rate, I was going to conquer this second trip!  I tend to get a little bit competitive at times.

 

As we launched the boats in the water, I could see the destination island in the distance.  For a rookie kayaker, it seemed to be at least an hour away - not really.  My friends zoomed ahead and continued to glance back at me, "How are you doing, Paige?"  "Oh fine," I would reply.  While inside, I was a little frustrated with myself and I wanted to be further ahead than I was.  I was tempted to pick up my pace and catch up with the troop.  As I did, I could feel my body saying to me, "Slow down!"  I began to feel a little nauseated and was finally forced to stop.  A voice inside of me said, "Look at this beautiful gulf."  I paused and looked and the rays of sun were bouncing of the surface of the water.  There were birds swooping down and flying so close to the water that their feathers just gracefully skimmed its surface. "WOW!" I thought. "Look at what I see when I SLOW DOWN to ENJOY what is before me and RELAX for a change."  I began to paddle again, but this time with a different attitude.  I decided that I WILL reach the island when I reach the island.  Maybe that is not when my friends reach it, but that's okay because maybe it was that kayaking adventure that was meant to teach me this very important life lesson!

 

I viewed the trip as a metaphor for life.  We're all on this kayaking adventure.  We're going out into the open sea with nothing in sight of what could come across our path.  Through it we learn lessons.  It may be hard to learn them.  Growing pains aren't comfortable.  However, if you believe what I believe, we have been promised by our Lord Jesus Christ that we WILL reach the island if we trust Him.  Be who you are.  Learn as you learn.  Find joy in the experience of it all.  Are we to be diligent at this? Of course, but don't allow trying to catch up with the crowd get in the way of your pace and what you could be learning.  If you try to race ahead, you may get sick (if you're kayaking) or most importantly, you may miss what it is that God is trying to teach you.  His plan for us is individual and I can't expect mine to line up with someone else's.  It is unique.

 

Are you paddling at your own pace?

 

 

Kayak Cedar Keys!!!! http://kayakcedarkeys.com/

 

 

My Manifesto - I Love to Tell THE Story - Part I

In conversation a few weeks ago with my mentor, he encouraged me to write a manifesto for my art.  I was at my wits end, frustrated, and trying to figure out what I am doing.  I think grad school will do that do someone.  It is really hard.  I won't pretend that it isn't.  However, it is good and necessary to experience in order that one might truly own his work.  I have learned that my work can no longer be about what someone has told me to make it about or even what I think it should be.  No, it has to be what One greater than me has commanded it to be.

 

My second semester of graduate school has been a challenge to figure out that goal.  All I could figure out is that I wanted to tell a story... What story?  I had an idea. "I love to tell the story of unseen things above of Jesus and his glory, of Jesus and His love.  I love to tell the story because I know tis true.  It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do."  That's the story I wanted to tell and that's the story that I wanted to sing everyday.

 

PROBLEM! Not everyone can relate to that story the way I know it and not everyone cares about Jesus the way I do.  HOWEVER, there is something that we all have in common and that is that we are all human.  WOW. Yep. We are.  Flawed and sinful to the core. I know I am anyway.  I need saving.  No matter how hard I try, I can't fix or save myself at all. I must surrender and die to myself daily.  So I have a story - MY story.  It tells the story of Jesus and how He loved and saved me.  Doesn't everyone want to be saved by something?  Doesn't everyone want to be loved?  Can't I show human's desire to be safe and loved? Yes, I can.  That is what I will strive to do.  It won't have a cross stamped on it, but it will seek to share the story of His truth and love that is unchanging and eternal.

 

In reading a book that was recommended to me by none other than my mentor again, Saving Leonardo: A Call to Resist the Secular Assault on Mind, Morals, & Meaning, I came across a paragraph that screamed out to me, step it up a notch, Paige!!!!!!!!  You're on a mission!

 

Christian art should grow out of the robust confidence that nothing is unredeemable - that Jesus himself entered into the darkest levels of human experience and transformed them into sources of life and renewal.  A full-orbed work of Christian art should include all three elements of the biblical worldview: creation, fall, redemption.  It should allude to the beauty and dignity of the original creation.  But it should also be transparently honest about the reality of sin and suffering.  Finally, it should always give hints of redemption.  No matter how degraded or corrupt a character may be, he or she should be portrayed with the dignity of being redeemable.  Some ray of hope should penetrate the darkness....

 

I seek to...

 

.....create humane and healthy alternatives that speak deeply to the human condition.

 

Each and every one of us have a purpose in life.  We are created which means we have a Creator with a purpose.  I pray that I strive to live out that purpose everyday.   I have to tell my story.  It is the only one I have and because I am the only Paige there is, it will be told through a new lens - my lens. 

 

"I love to tell the Story,  'twill be my theme in glory. To tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love."