People pleaser. I am often guilty as charged. I have "known" it is not the best way to be, but it seems as if I am truly realizing why it is not good at all as I find myself in graduate school faced with many things that oppose my convictions.
In every situation, I must hold true to my convictions. This isn't easy. It requires a lot of confidence. I am learning. If we are not honest with ourselves and one another, no one is ever satisfied. We will continue to carry around feelings of hurt, discomfort, and miscommunication. We would all be flakes. I don't want to be a flake.
In a recently watched episode of "Leave it to Beaver," June tells Beaver, "You'll always be safe if you tell the TRUTH." https://youtu.be/7kZtpML1RHM?t=833
What does telling the truth and honesty have to do with being a people pleaser? It has everything to do with it.
Ever just say what you know you want people to hear so they will like you? Ever don't say what you really think for fear of offending someone even when you know what is right? What is beating around the bush? Passive aggressive? What is love?
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love NEVER fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
This is how we must share truth and discipline. It is tough - tough love - not always squishy, but it is all of the above. How do we do this?
"Simply let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no."" - Matthew 5:37
No need to make excuses. I am willing to bet people will respect you if you share your true feelings in love - REAL LOVE.
For it is this I have been commanded...
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."
- Matthew 22:37-39
This love is sharing with brothers what is true even when it hurts. Even if they may not like you anymore. It is not condemning, but kind and patient. It is honest. It is genuine. It is forgiving. It is true. This folks, is Christ's infinite love. He is who I strive to please for it is His face that I want to see.
"Beaver's Bad Day" (1958)
Leave it to Beaver
June and Theodore (Beaver) Cleaver